This week on Desperate Housewives

Wow. I should NOT watch this show home alone after 3 glasses of wine anymore. No Siree Bob.
That was CREEPY- especially the scene in the diner with pharmacist-stalker-guy and the scene where the dad was tightening his son's tie. ooooochy mama.
WHAT THE FLIP IS THE SECRET ABOUT DANA???
blimey ainsley hayes from the west wing gets everywhere now- not only did we see her on CSI but now i look up and see her in crappy David Schwimmer flick Breast Men. Nope, that's beside the point...where was I...
On the week that TV tripe Footballers Wives returns to our screens, making my best friend Rob a very happy bunny, I would like to say that Desperate Housewives is a superb piece of small screen writing. Bravo. It would be my fav show if i didn't fancy Ben McKenzie. Nuff said.

Hitch

First of all. Don't. Just don't do it.
Not romantic enough to be a chickflick, not slapstick enough to be a Farrelly-brothers rip off, not self-aware enough to be the parody/pastiche to romcoms that scream was to horror, not even consistently gushy enough to be channel 5 Afternoon Movie: Hitch does not know what it is, and I don't want to know.
Abysmal.

Bernstein's "On The Town"

Saw this at the Coliseum on Saturday night. It was magical and wonderful. The choreography was enchanting (and there's a lot of it-muchet ballet), and the direction and design (in fact all aspects of production) were perfectly synchronised. Highlights were the always wonderful Caroline O Connor's smashing rendition of I Can Cook Too whilst preparing a meal resulting in a sort of cross between Miss Adelaide at the Hot Box and Blue Peter-in-the-kitchen (GSA'ers: why on earth did Gerry tell me to stand still when I sang it?!), and a couple of cracking numbers that I don't remember from the original film. Oz's very beautiful Adam Garcia was accompanied by an American and a Canadian, all three extremely talented actors and dancers with beautiful voices, and in sailor suits to boot. (Although since Caroline O Connor must be twice Adam Garcia's age I was quite pleased to be sat far from the stage when they were kissing.) The ballerina actress playing Ivy, (yes folks, it turns out there's more than one Josephina Gabrielle) was also an inspiration. Tickets for the Coliseum are expensive, (a stalls seat can set you back £80), but a trip to the gods is well worth it when so much formation dance and beautiful music are on offer.

Forget is not the same as Forgive

I think I'm pretty laid back- it's hard to find my goat, let alone 'get' it. I rarely struggle with forgiveness because I rarely notice that I've been wronged and even then am usually fairly happy to accept that it was unintentional. But perhaps I've become a bit proud of my long fuse...
This week a situation that I had long since forgotten about involving a person I hadn't seen for a long time bubbled back into my conciousness. On thinking about this person's previous actions, I realised I had not forgiven them.
New found test to see if I have forgiven someone:
a) Does said person's happiness bring me happiness?
b)Does said person's misery bring me happiness?
If have to think long and hard about either of these questions, I haven't forgiven them yet!
As a well-versed former member of the Warner-youth-programme ;-) I of course know that the best way to forgive is to "see that person through God's eyes" and that the only way to do that is to pray for them. So I have begun praying for the person.
I guess my thought for the day though, is- How many other people are there who are banished to my sub-conscious: never forgiven, just forgotten about. I think I better start asking God to bring them out of hiding and show me how to be a truly pure white blank sheet of paper, with no bitterness or resentment-someone that is always absolutely prepared, in top shape, on the starting blocks, ready and eager to love unconditionally and without hesitation, not just 'new' people and 'nice' people but old hurts too.

The Mystery of Desperate Housewives' Plot

Here's what I think is going on....

I reckon that the Dana-baby-murder is a red herring...and that Dana grew up into the girl we saw in the photograph this episode. She was adopted for some reason (possibly because she was illigitimate?? or possibly because something bloody and nasty DID happen the night that Zach remembers?-maybe it wasn't Dana's blood he saw??) anyway- she was adopted by the guy we were introduced to this episode who's obviously her father-figure and then as an adult was in a relationship with Mike. Then she got murdered, presumably by her biological parents Mary-Alice and/or Paul , possibly for carrying a dark family secret(?). So her 'father' and Mike sought vengence by killing Mary-Alice. Which would make Mary-Alice's suicide actually a murder. Oh hang on, i think we know that she definately DID commit suicide because her ghostly voiceover told us. Bum. But we now know that Mike has already killed out of vengence for the murder of the girl in the photograph who may or may not be Dana... So if not Mary-Alice, who on EARTH has Mike already killed??

Yeah OK - speculation gets you nowhere...
Clearly I should just find the patience to wait til next week...

Hotel Rwanda

Go see it.
Everyone should watch this film.

Anxious

I am anxious.

I can always tell when I'm anxious because I find myself lying in bed:
a) Unable to sleep
and
b) Involuntarily imagining spiders crawling all over my face.

There was a few years where the spiders were needles, but these days I have returned to my irrational primal fear.
So what am I anxious about? In search of clues, I recall the night's sleeping dream, in which I was at the airport but had forgotten my suitcase, resulting in both my friend and I missing our plane. This is not deep symbolism-holiday catastrophies had been on my mind: I had spent the previous evening booking hotels for my holiday and my mum had mistakenly booked one on the wrong side of the USA.
I try writing a list of all the things that occasionally stress me out:
-Performances
-Career
-Money
I cross off Performances. Performance anxiety (or stage fright), which crippled me for a term at drama school, does not make me see spiders or injections. I just lie in bed going over and over a song or scene in my head. And whilst developing coping/relaxation techniques (such as raisin-concentration: I can now eat a single raisin for 16 mins.) DOES help towards "losing yourself" rather than critiquing yourself in a peformance, no strategy or discipline ever defeated the sleepness nights. In the end the only cure for stage fright is persistant performance.
My career (or lack of) status has remained unchanged since January, and it is a bit late for me to start worriedly mourning the absence of money after 5 years of debt...
So what's going on?
Maybe I need a theme song - like Tracy Ullman famously advised Ally McBeal. Any suggestions?

Wooden

My current lack of creative employment starting to get me down, I had been eagerly awaiting the arrival of a DVD recording of my recent principal boy effort.
I was therefore a little perturbed to view NOT the glowing performance of the opening number that I remembered (or imagined?), but an insecure, underplayed and yes, wooden display.
Was the DVD recorded before I found my feet? Were my family and friends lying when they said I was good? Is it simply impossible to capture the subtle nuances of characterisation or dynamism of stage presence that my Aladdin delivered on the small screen? Hmmm...
Well whatever the reason- I must accept the criticism that I've spent a lifetime lauding over others. And whilst the stinging realisation that I can be BAD is humbling; it also makes me feel quite grown up...Perhaps this is my tripe of passage.

Mickey is calling....

Well, after a day of Food Hygiene Training (what have I learnt about food hygiene?-That there is NOTHING fun about food hygiene), I am very excited to announce that I am now officially all booked up and ready to fly to Orlando on the 1st April. There I will be boarding the 'Disney Magic' cruise liner and cruising the Caribbean for a week with my good friend Nicola who is on the ship's entertainment team. I am tres jammy as I am only paying for my flight and the $6 a day all-you-can-eat food, but get board and excursions free of charge. What's more, due to a problem with flights I have to stay in Orlando an extra 2 nights before coming home, so I will just have to try to keep myself amused at the Magic Kingdom. Shame.

No wonder I get lost in Luton!

Did personality tests at site Jude sent me to. It turns out my brain is 85% right-side dominant!Apparently...
Left brain dominant individuals are more orderly, literal, articulate, and to the point. They are good at understanding directions and anything that is explicit and logical. They can have trouble comprehending emotions and abstract concepts, they can feel lost when things are not clear, doubting anything that is not stated and proven.
Right brain dominant individuals are more visual and intuitive. They are better at summarizing multiple points, picking up on what's not said, visualizing things, and making things up. They can lack attention to detail, directness, organization, and the ability to explain their ideas verbally, leaving them unable to communicate effectively
Am a little concerned about what the left side of my brain is doing during the 85% of the day when I'm not using it. Is it asleep? Is it having a curry? Has it gone abroad for some warmer weather? Will I ever see it again. Oh well, on the plus side I can now forever use this as my excuse when I'm lost in my car, forgetful, messy or inarticulate.

Tests also said I am: messy, disorganized, extremely trusting, open-minded, extremely adventurous, impulsive, sympathetic, enthusiastic, assertive, social, tough, outgoing, rarely worries, self revealing, open, risk taker, likes the unknown, likes large parties, makes friends easily, likes to stand out, likes to make fun of people, reckless, optimistic, positive, strong, extremely imaginative, does not like to be alone, ambivalent about chaos, abstract, impractical, not good at saving money, fearless, trusting, thrill seeker, not rule conscious, enjoys leadership, strange, loves food, abstract, rarely irritated, anti-authority, attracted to the counter culture, overly talkative, extremely artistic, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment,very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Likes to make fun of people? Do I? Sorry guys!!!! Most of this is SO right its creepy.

Joke tests:
If I was a movie character I would be: the godfather
You are all about power and control, living by the mafia code.
So you'd better all watch out and be nice to me
If I were a historical leader I would be: a mild-mannered assassination victim. You are Abe Lincoln. You have a peaceful nature and are good at mediating disputes with the exception of the occasional bloody civil war.
hee hee
Hmmm...

KATE'S WEEKLY STATS

Chocolate hobnobs consumed: 20 (bad)
Parents in Africa: 1
Family-members going abroad this month: 4 (to 4 different continents!!)
Estimated hrs of TV-watching: 49 (v. bad)
No. people's poo I've had direct contact with: 3
Updated Desperate Housewives body count: 5
Miserable moods: 2
Single friends seen/spoken to: 13
Married friends seen/spoken to: 3 (i think i should point out this is above monthly average)
Calls from agent: 0
Interesting thoughts: 4
No.Times fallen in love with Jamie Oliver during 'Jamie's School Dinners': 4
Scary death dreams: 1
Times bored at work: 1. Now.
Times I was right and Rob was wrong: 1
Times Rob was right and I was wrong: 0
New Vileda Super-Mocia mops: 1 (i think i'm in love with a mop)
Total money spent on cleaning products: £22 (yeah but how clean is my bathroom)
Friends' birthdays forgotten: 3 (not gd.)
OC characters who've managed to remain geneologically un-related to any other character: 3

What is NOT to love about this show?

At the end of an absolute corker of an episode of the OC, that included not only the joys of Christmakah but also the exposure of Caleb's secret: that Lindsay is his illigitimate love-child: in a dramatic confrontation at the Cohen house which all 10 main characters witnessed (Seth: "Good job our kitchen is roomy.") Which means (and here's the great part).....

• Ryan is dating his adopted mum's sister, while his adopted brother Seth is now his girlfriend Lindsay's half-nephew
• Marissa's ex-boyfriend is now the adopted nephew of her mother's step-daughter
• Kirsten is both Ryan's adopted mum and his girlfriend's half-sister
• Julie is Kirsten and Lindsay's step-mum and Ryan and Seth's step-gran by current husband Caleb, and Marissa's biological mum by her ex-husband and current lover.

Such a great episode I did the dance for the end credits as WELL as the theme song.

Eastenders is a bit crap really isn't it

And I'm kidding myself to think otherwise.

The Rex Cinema

HOW excited am I right now?? Have just discovered (while scooting around tinternet) that just down the road from me in Berkhamsted there's a beautiful one-screen 350-seater art-deco cinema that's recently been lovingly-restored from ruin by a film-enthusiast with the support of lovely villagers! It looks amazing. Not ONLY that but said film enthusiast is clearly a wonderful man with exemplary taste: the listings are WONDERFUL- and incredibly a total mix of the brand new (eg. Aviator/Life Aquatic) and the golden age (eg. Some Like it Hot-WOW!). Cannot believe my luck. Planning visits already...Perhaps a trip to see the unsurpassable James Stewart in 'The Philadelphia Story' on Sunday afternoon- anyone wanna?

TO DATE OR NOT TO DATE

Jude, Michael and I spent the wee hours of this morning discussing the dating phenomenon. Here are some conclusions that I made from the debate:

1. "Dating" is, in effect both culturally American and cosmopolitan. It is neither part of British national or regional culture, and therefore all discussion herein is probably obsolete. UNLESS any of us do move to London (or better still, New York) and live an executive "Sex and the City" lifestyle, in which case we will helpfully find ourselves highly opinionated on this topic.
2. Being highly opinionated on the topic of "dating", or relationships come to think of it, does in no way help you in the field of "dating" or relationships.
   Having an opinion on the rest of the world's "dating"/relationship problems does, however, allow you to feel comforted/superior about the fact that you are neither "dating" nor in a relationship.
3. All Singletons that live in areas that fall under the '2005-As-Specified-by-Kate-Legalized-Dating-Zones' (i.e. the entirity of North America and big cosmopolitan cities outside the US like London), must follow the codes and practices of the Dating Zones to ensure effective non-verbal communication with the opposite sex- For example: Expect that a "date" means very little (as Jude pointed out this will only be a struggle for girls) - it may not lead to a second date and does not mean that a guy is definately interested in "going out" long-term. All parties have the right to suspend all communication with "date" after said "date" for any unspecicified reason with little or no explanation at any time.
4. All Singletons that live outside the areas that fall under the '2005-As-Specified-by-Kate-Legalized-Dating-Zones' (eg. us) must follow a separate set of cultural-social-guidelines. These include: At a pre-relationship level, the male will have two options: either to just immediately show the female he has feelings for her (a verbal confession or kiss will do it) OR to ask her out somewhere where they can spend time alone getting to know each other. [NB>The inability at this point to use the term "date" or "dating" in these zones: Replace with "go out to..." , "go out with" or "going out". This will, inevitably, lead to confusion, as the term "going out" has multiple meanings.] At this point the girl has to become detective and deduce whether the invitation has romantic or platonic suggestion behind it. She must then make her decision on whether to attend based on this deduction, and if she is not interested in said male, find an excuse to either not go or go along with a babble of girlfriends. This will probably lead to further confusion- whilst girls are relatively good detectives (her hunch on his intentions were probably correct), boys are not... and her excuses will probably not deter him from further efforts. In contrast to those "dating" within the Zones, it is UNACCEPTABLE for these Singletons to cut off communication without explanation at any point. This is chiefly because such is the muddy nature of this communication-system that whilst one party may see themselves as flippantly experimenting with a platonic friend as to the nature of their relationship, the other party is all too likely to be under the belief that they are soul-mates finally brought together and soon to be married. So, as Jude puts it, "finishing well" is essential.
5. "Dating" and "Going out" can be both mutually benefial or mutually destructive and should be handled with caution. Here endeth my lesson.