TO DATE OR NOT TO DATE

Jude, Michael and I spent the wee hours of this morning discussing the dating phenomenon. Here are some conclusions that I made from the debate:

1. "Dating" is, in effect both culturally American and cosmopolitan. It is neither part of British national or regional culture, and therefore all discussion herein is probably obsolete. UNLESS any of us do move to London (or better still, New York) and live an executive "Sex and the City" lifestyle, in which case we will helpfully find ourselves highly opinionated on this topic.
2. Being highly opinionated on the topic of "dating", or relationships come to think of it, does in no way help you in the field of "dating" or relationships.
   Having an opinion on the rest of the world's "dating"/relationship problems does, however, allow you to feel comforted/superior about the fact that you are neither "dating" nor in a relationship.
3. All Singletons that live in areas that fall under the '2005-As-Specified-by-Kate-Legalized-Dating-Zones' (i.e. the entirity of North America and big cosmopolitan cities outside the US like London), must follow the codes and practices of the Dating Zones to ensure effective non-verbal communication with the opposite sex- For example: Expect that a "date" means very little (as Jude pointed out this will only be a struggle for girls) - it may not lead to a second date and does not mean that a guy is definately interested in "going out" long-term. All parties have the right to suspend all communication with "date" after said "date" for any unspecicified reason with little or no explanation at any time.
4. All Singletons that live outside the areas that fall under the '2005-As-Specified-by-Kate-Legalized-Dating-Zones' (eg. us) must follow a separate set of cultural-social-guidelines. These include: At a pre-relationship level, the male will have two options: either to just immediately show the female he has feelings for her (a verbal confession or kiss will do it) OR to ask her out somewhere where they can spend time alone getting to know each other. [NB>The inability at this point to use the term "date" or "dating" in these zones: Replace with "go out to..." , "go out with" or "going out". This will, inevitably, lead to confusion, as the term "going out" has multiple meanings.] At this point the girl has to become detective and deduce whether the invitation has romantic or platonic suggestion behind it. She must then make her decision on whether to attend based on this deduction, and if she is not interested in said male, find an excuse to either not go or go along with a babble of girlfriends. This will probably lead to further confusion- whilst girls are relatively good detectives (her hunch on his intentions were probably correct), boys are not... and her excuses will probably not deter him from further efforts. In contrast to those "dating" within the Zones, it is UNACCEPTABLE for these Singletons to cut off communication without explanation at any point. This is chiefly because such is the muddy nature of this communication-system that whilst one party may see themselves as flippantly experimenting with a platonic friend as to the nature of their relationship, the other party is all too likely to be under the belief that they are soul-mates finally brought together and soon to be married. So, as Jude puts it, "finishing well" is essential.
5. "Dating" and "Going out" can be both mutually benefial or mutually destructive and should be handled with caution. Here endeth my lesson.