Welcome to my world

Had such a surreal day. At 8am was already (literally) up to my elbows in someone else's poo. By 1pm I was sat in the boot of a people-carrier explaining to my work colleague Sammy who Gracie Fields was (a VERY 'Dinnerladies' moment: she was big in the 40s..."what, her from Rear Window?"...er...no that's Grace Kelly..."what matthew kelly's got a wife?"...) By 3pm I was negotiating wheel-chair-users through 1200 OAPs on the way to the Wycombe Swan toilets whilst waxing lyrical on the talents of a ukulele-player called Andy Eastwood. (How do you spell ukulele?- like this? should've just written BANJO) -actually-
TIME OUT. Before you start mocking me- this guy was proper amazing. Trad-Camp as doing George Fornby impressions may be (he is apparently the No.1 attraction at Blackpool this summer), find me a guitarist with half the skill of this guy and I will happily wear a big badge saying LOSER for enjoying his act so much. But you won't find one. And you'll never know anyway because none of you saw him, and unless you go to Blackpool this Summer you probably never will. He was so good that for 3 songs I watched his fingers like a hawk trying to spot a mistake and prove he was dubbed. But no, he turns out to be the UK's Number 1 (well probably, if we're honest, only) ukulele virtuoso. So there. If you would like to join my new banjo-love-in, go to his website (www.andyeastwood.com) you will genuinely never have seen anyone so passionate about the ukulele.
TOMORROW, I am watching my best friend Rob don luminous blue leggins and try and Fosse-dance (or frankly just stay on his feet) in a snake-costume that doesn't fit him in a totally off-the-wall musical about the Garden Of Eden directed by the same ex-Broadway-hoofer that cast me as a 49- year-old-nanny-turned-pirate not so long ago. I'd hate to think life was going to get any stranger...
ps. Jude&Michael- Apparently it is an am-dram group of ex-pats in Uganda who were so desperately in need of my copy of South Pacific. Funny, when my mum said that it sounded less random...